Give it up for the Dong Rocket, Korean Song Dong Hwan dubbed the "Asian Rocket"

Anyang Halla right wing #96 Song Dong Hwan was lighting it up in the Asia League Ice Hockey, at least he was in 2005-06 clinching the league scoring title with 32 goals. Unfortunately Dong Hwan was called up to serve in the Korean army for the 2006-07 and 2007-08 ALIH seasons. Compulsory service of just over 2 years is mandory for all adult males in South Korea over the age of 18.

Will the "Asian Rocket" pick up where he left off, and challenge the dominant Japanese Oji Paper, Nippon Paper Cranes, Seibu Price Rabbits or Nikko Ice Bucks teams? Anyang Halla is one of two teams based in South Korea, along with High1 (named after a newly developed series of ski and golf resorts). Anyang Halla, formerly Halla Winia (a refrigerator company), won 5 Korean Hockey Championships before moving to the Asian Hockey League and finishing 3rd in 2003-04. Based in Anyang City an hour south of the capital Seoul, Anyang Halla finished the 2007-08 ALIH season in 5th place registering a 14-14-2 record (30 game season). Anyang Halla was swept by the Nippon Paper Cranes 3-0 in the best-of-five first round of the playoffs (4-3, 2-1, 2-1).

According to the offical website, the Nippon Paper Cranes defeated regular season champion Seibu to advance to the finals against Oji Paper. Cranes goaltender Jamie McLennan said of the finals berth, "We knew it would be the toughest game in this series. SEIBU is an elite team being on a higher level than us, so I have conditioned myself well to be in top shape for the series. Oji Paper is one of the best teams I've seen, but we have a chance to win as we did win over SEIBU. With humility, I'll try to be well prepared for the finals."

The ALIH Championship Finals begin on Saturday, March 15th in Tomakomai, Japan. The "Asian Rocket" Song Dong Hwan will be on the shelf until the 2008-09 ALIH season. My brother Soren has traveled to South Korea the last two years to study Judo, I might draft him to provide a little hockey coverage if he makes the trip a third time. Follow the ALIH Finals on the official Oji Paper and Nippon Paper Cranes websites.

This post would not be complete without a bizarre Korean We are the World team song by Anyang Halla, Flying Halla? A few Czech teammates are thrown in for good measure, Patrik Martinec, Jaroslav Nedved, Daniel Seman and Pavel Falta. The official Anyang Halla website is available at anyanghalla.com.

A brief China Sharks update is up on my blog here. Also note the first youtube highlight video I posted, featuring a different rocket, is nearing 30,000 page views. My Godzilla vs Patrick Marleau highlight video needs to catch up. "I'd rather put a 'C' on Godzilla -- he's a better leader, too." - Earl Sleek. *** Ahem. Cough.

[Update] Oji Paper, the Cranes to Face in Finals - ALIH.

[Update2] Cranes oust Rabbits, advance to AHL finals - Daily Yomiuri Online. More here.

Ducks Gameday—Scattered advice from a tired blogger

Vancouver Canucks (35-24-10, 8th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (39-25-8, 4th in west)

Here's how the season series with Vancouver has gone thus far this season:

G1: Ducks allow the first four goals, lose 4-0.
G2: Ducks allow the first three goals, lose 3-2.
G3: Ducks allow the first two goals, lose 2-1.

So how about this time, the Ducks try scoring first (or at least, second)? I've got this wacky theory about the Canucks in that they're damn difficult to come back against when it comes to multi-goal deficits. An early lead might prove fruitful. It's sort of an untested theory at this point, but I'd sure like to see the Ducks give it a try tonight.

I suppose the Sharks and Stars are the target now, with first round home ice being the reward for catching one of them. I've always thought that home ice advantage was a bit overblown, however, and based on the Ducks' shootout lineup last night, the Anaheim coaching staff thinks so also. Here's the shootout lineup that they threw out there last night, which lost laughingly to Bryzgalov and his Coyote friends.

Todd Bertuzzi I actually did see Bertuzzi score on a breakaway against Nabokov this year, but it was in the same game where he had earlier failed on a penalty shot, so essentially it took him two breakaways to score. Bert's still got some hands, but let's not kid ourselves here. He doesn't willfully take shots during the game, what makes him any sort of candidate for the shootout? Bad call, Carlyle.

Todd Marchant This is wrong on so many levels (on every platform except NHL 07). Todd Marchant gets about 40 breakaways a year and scores on zero of them. He is the king of not scoring on glorious scoring chances (where do you think he got the nickname Stone Hands?), but rather will score goals like we've seen in the last two games: fluky bounce-pucks that leave a brown taste in goaltenders' mouths. Horrible call, Carlyle, especially when Stone Hands dropped the puck halfway to the net. Next time I see Marchant in a shootout, he'd better be the fifteenth shooter.

Chris Pronger Yeah, I think a lot of people saw Pronger in '06 become the first person to score a penalty shot goal in the cup finals, but few are clinging to that memory the way Carlyle is. C'mon, coach. He's wearing a frickin' jaw basket and you think it might be time to hearken back to beating Cam the sham Ward? Rotten call, Carlyle.

Look. The Ducks lose shootouts all the time, and I'm always very cool about it. I know that Anaheim has designed its roster around owning the boards, and thus they regularly seem out of their element in shootouts. And that's cool with me--boardwork wins in the postseason, whereas Dallas, one team that can be associated with shootout success, has yet to win a playoff round since the shootout was invented. Still, last night for the first time I really found myself livid, not necessarily at the shootout result, but rather in the manner and lineup that the Ducks decided to lose it. Since Carlyle took over the team, last night stands as the one time I can think of where the Ducks almost intentionally left standings points on the table. An odd time of the year for those sort of shenanigans, that's for sure.

I'll let it slide, but dear god Carlyle, if that's the shootout strategy, why not just let the opposing coach pick our shooters? Odds are, we'd probably have seen Marchant get stripped of the puck by an imaginary defender in either case.

Maybe more pressing is what I saw in regulation, which certainly was a mixed bag. Here's my advice: Bertuzzi or Weight needs to start firing some pucks on net, or these two have to be separated immediately. They are forming a huge hole on the 2nd line, and that's a huge chunk of salary to be paying guys to do nothing except feed Todd Marchant or Bobby Ryan (who can be double-covered since he's the only one who shoots). Try these top two lines: Bertuzzi-Getzlaf-Selanne and Kunitz-Weight-Ryan. Yeah, it sucks separating Kunitz from Selanne, but Weight and Bertuzzi both need to be played carefully, and frankly I just don't see them being anywhere near productive with each other. Maybe five years ago that duo would have worked, but that was back in an era when these guys willingly shot the puck. Now it's like pulling teeth, and I find both guys frustratingly easy to defend because of it.

Prediction: My dad and brother are at the game tonight, and I am not. Neither of them are particularly hockey fans, so I bet they see a yawner and I get to hear about how boring hockey is for the next six months. Ducks 2, Canucks 1. Goals by Pahlsson and Huskins. The game ends in regulation, causing Carlyle to shelf his alternate shootout lineup of O'Donnell, Sutherby, and May. Feel free to offer your own "worst shootout lineup" suggestion for the Ducks in the comments.

Go Ducks.

It's Nobody Else's Fault That You Suck

I was going to wait until tonight to post this, but I am positively seething over this article. There was a story published in The Vancouver Sun wherein Dan Cloutier laments how unfairly he's been treated by the Kings organization. Here's an excerpt:

The team insisted he shed his birdcage wire mask and helmet, citing insurance issues. Cloutier was never comfortable in a traditional mask, and a few games into last season he was feeling physical discomfort.

He was having hip pain. He volunteered to keep playing because the Kings' other goalie, Mathieu Garon, had a broken finger. Cloutier's pain got worse, but the team insisted initially there was little wrong with him.

Knowing his body, Cloutier pushed the issue. Only after a specialist said his career could be in jeopardy, the Kings sent him to Vail for season-ending surgery. In pain, Cloutier flew to Colorado in a middle economy-class seat and was lodged by the Kings at a Super-8 Motel about 50 kilometres from the clinic where he was treated daily.

Wow, how unfairly treated. He injured his hip but bravely soldiered on at the Kings' insistence because Mathieu Garon had an injured finger? What a hero, and what a jerk the Kings were to make him play.

Except it's absolutely not true.

Mathieu Garon injured his finger on January 13, the day after Cloutier had season-ending injury. Garon did injure his groin earlier that year, but that was on November 29th. Dan Cloutier has himself admitted that he was only healthy for about 2 weeks last season . (There is a notable change in performance starting on October 23rd, roughly 2 1/2 weeks into the season.) That means for more than a month (October 23rd-November 30th) the Kings forced Dan Cloutier to play, despite his insistence that he had a hip injury, because they just really needed that 4.35 GAA and .839 SV%, while the entire time Mathieu Garon (the team's #1 just a year ago) sat on the bench?* The Kings are incompetent, but they're not that incompetent. That, coupled with the fact that Dan Cloutier is a fiery competitor and probably would prefer to play through an injury, leads me to think that he's lying.

When Garon did go down on the 30th of November, the Kings played Dan Cloutier 8 more times before he finally shut it down on December 23rd. Cloutier claims the Kings did not believe Cloutier was seriously injured, but is it possible they did not believe that because Cloutier had played an entire month with the injury? That seems plausible.

Later on in the article, Cloutier complains that they sent him down to the AHL, didn't play him, and then benched him. In actuality, Cloutier played near the beginning of the season, sucked, and then the Monarchs made him rest because they didn't think his hip was fine. Funny how they'd have to make him sit despite his insistence he was fine, like he had hidden an injury from them before or something.

Look, Dan Cloutier obviously didn't work out in LA and on some level I feel bad for him. But for him to somehow try to blame his misfortune on the Kings (God forbid he stay at a Motel-6) is disingenuous at best and an outright lie at worst. Honestly, what's more likely: the Kings forced Cloutier to play, or Cloutier downplayed how badly he was injured because he wanted to play? This whole thing reminds me of the Eric Gagne fiasco from a couple years ago.

So what's the deal with this article, seeing how it has factual errors and definitely has an agenda? I think Dan wants the Kings to buy him out so he can either latch on with another club or possibly go to Europe. He found a columnist in Vancouver, a place he used to play, to help him embarrass the Kings in the hopes he'll be able to go play somewhere else while still collecting that $3.1 million dollars he's scheduled to make next year. I'm trying not to sound too mad because I want to concentrate on the facts, but I am very, very upset. I don't think the Kings will buy Cloutier out because they already have Alyn Macauley on the books, so this should get interesting.


*The two goalies basically split the starts, with Garon also getting 3 relief appearances because Cloutier got shelled.

Ducks Gameday—Reviewing the goaltender giveaway

Anaheim Ducks (39-25-7, 4th in west) at Phoenix Coyotes (34-30-5, t-10th in west)

I made this table below to show how the Coyotes have improved since they picked up Ilya Bryzgalov on waivers, including beating both J.S. Giguere and Jonas Hiller in shootouts. Interesting, since he'd never won a shootout for the Ducks, but then again, the Ducks have one of the worst shootout lineups around.

	Pre-Bryzgalov	Post-Bryzgalov
Games Played	17	52
Record	7-10-0	27-20-5
Win Pct.	.412	.567
GF/gm	2.41	2.63
GA/gm	3.29	2.40
PP Pct.	13.0%	19.4%
PK Pct.	77.1%	83.6%
Opp. Shoot%	11.2%	7.8%

Of course there's been more going on than just Bryzgalov since mid-November, but damn that's a mean improvement in goals-against. Also, somehow Breezy has managed to improve both the power play and the penalty kill by 6.4%. Crazy Russian.

You should definitely read Rudy's King-bracket breakdown below. My vote goes to Tomas Sandstrom, as his one-timer in NHL 94 is the reason I'm a hockey fan today. Speaking of brackets, thanks to my inability to turn down a bet BoC has been engaged in some sort of March Madness blog battle between The Play in California and Gossip on Sports (and maybe others). What this means is that we will go through the pretense of filling out a college basketball bracket, then once it's proved we're incompetent some other blog will be writing gloat posts here for a day. Anyway, if anyone wants to offer any good advice picks, leave 'em in the comments and we'll try to go down swinging.

Prediction: Bobby Ryan had a good re-debut on the 2nd line, which gives me some optimism about playing without Perry. Still, the 'Yotes have been playing the Ducks pretty tough all year. Ducks 3, Coyotes 1. Goals by Selanne, Pahlsson, and Kunitz.

Go Ducks.

Feel the MADNESS

The Kings are doing a March Madness-style tournament to figure out the biggest fan favorite in the history of the team. It's dumb but fun so I thought I'd get all Joe Lunardi on you and break down the brackets. (For some reason Roman Cechmanek isn't listed, but I assume that's an oversight.) First up:

Purple Bracket


Easiest Win: Bernie Nicholls over Lowell MacDonald. Nicholls was a goal scorer (70 in '88-89) and he's generally well remembered as a King. Plus, who the fuck cares about Lowell MacDonald? He played on the Kings for 2 seasons. I'm more important than Lowell MacDonald.

Toughest Match-Up: Mattias Norstrom vs. Adam Deadmarsh. Norstrom would appear to be the easy choice, but Deadmarsh has gained a cult-like following since he retired due to lack of standing ability. I think it'll be a tough fight but I expect the a small group of people voting many times will sway the vote in Deadmarsh's favor.

Ultimate Victor: In a bracket that includes Dave Taylor and Wayne Gretzky, I'm going to go with Adam Deadmarsh. If he can get by Norstrom, he'll build momentum heading into a bracket showdown with either the victor between Taylor and Gretzky. Gretzky has never been completely embraced by Kings fans and Taylor's stature was somewhat diminished by his tenure as GM (when he traded for Deadmarsh, I should add), so I think Deadmarsh can win those match-ups. What can I say, it doesn't make sense but people love the bastard.

Silver Bracket


Easiest Win: Luc Robitaille over Paul Coffey. Luc is everything LA hockey should be and Coffey only played on the team for 2 seasons. By the way, why the fuck did we trade Coffey for Jimmy Carson and Gary Shuchuck??? What if we had him in the finals against Canadiens? This will keep me up tonight.

Toughest Match-Up: Eddie Joyal vs. Mario Lessard. I don't know who they are, so it'll be tough for me to pick one over the other.

Ultimate Victor: Luc Robitaille. C'mon, he's Luc Robitaille! Luc Robitaille would win Miss America if it were up to Kings fans.


Gold Bracket



Easiest Win: Kelly Hrudey over Terry Ruskowski. It's obvious to me that Hrudey will swing in on a rope and defeat Terry Ruskowski in a sword fight before setting sail with the commodore's daughter. No, I do not have this all written down as a fan-fiction. Get off my computer! MOM!!!

Toughest Match-Up: Ziggy Palffy vs. Michael Cammalleri. Palffy should win easily but it's tough to tell if people will vote for players just because they're currently on the team. I think Palffy will win out, but I'm not quite sure.

Ultimate Victor: Marcel Dionne should win. If Ian Laperriere wins, I'll set myself on fire. Wait, that's not constructive... I know, I'll set Ian Laperriere on fire.

Black Bracket (this seems racist, why make Anson Carter have his own- oh...)




Easiest Win: Darryl Evans over Rob Blake. Kings fans are assholes.

Toughest Match-Up: Gilles Marotte vs. Tomas Sandstrom. Not really, but I just wanted to give some love to Tomas Sandstrom. Don Cherry may hate him, but I sure love him. I mean, look at these moves:


Wait, Tomas Sandstrom wasn't a chainsaw-wielding ferret? Man, my childhood was fucked.

Ultimate Victor: I think Blake will get taken out early and then Jimmy Fox will sneak in on name recognition. His acceptance speech? "Thanks a lot!- it'sanhonor."

So there's my in-depth analysis of the bracket so far. When it gets down the Final Four I'll probably review how I did, unless you guys think this sucks. Please don't.

Kings Gameday: What's Up With Vancouver?

LA Kings (gah!) vs. Vancouver Canucks (34-24-10, 8th in West)

7:30 EST, FSN Prime Ticket

Can someone help me out? Usually when we play a Canadian team I like to make fun of the area (because I'm a winner), but I don't really know what's up with Vancouver. I've heard that they're more cosmopolitan than the rest of Canada (they don't wear denim on holidays?), but I've also heard that about Montreal. What's their deal?

Even their team is kind of boring. They don't score very much, the Sedin twins look like the most boring people in the world, Luongo is great but he's mostly just huge, Matt Cooke got traded, etc. Hell, I can't even be angry that they're better than us since they haven't beaten us this season! I can't make fun of them, and I hate that. The only thing that really made me laugh was during the trade dealine when I heard a few of their fans saying they didn't need defense because they had Aaron Miller and Mike Weaver. (Trust me, you guys need defense.)

Anyway, if you've been to Vancouver or if you just don't like them because you're bitter, let me know in the comments. 'Til then, I'll just have to keep noting that Roberto Luongo looks like a Bond villain, but even that's not that much fun.

***

The Kings had their big Breakfast with the GM extravaganza yesterday and Dean Lombardi talked a lot about the future of the team. Big points: he didn't sound too excited about Stamkos, he wasn't thrilled with last year's free-agent signings, and he wants a young defenseman this off-season. If you feel like it, go over to letsgokings.com's message boards to read a transcript.

Prediction: Kings win, 4-2. Goals by Cammy, Brown (x2), and Armstrong. Vancouver does... something. Damn.

Update: Pop quiz, hot shot: what sport is this passage talking about?

"Alberta's Kevin Martin took advantage of a Saskatchewan miss to steal a crucial early point in a 7-4 win that handed Pat Simmons' rink its first loss at the Tim Hortons Brier on Monday."

Hint: This Adonis is Kevin Martin:

Extra Hint: It was on the front page of TSN.ca. Give up? It's curling! On the front page! I love Canada.

Ducks Gameday—Habs inspire an awfully lazy post

Montreal Canadiens (38-22-9, 2nd in east) at Anaheim Ducks (38-25-7, 4th in west)

I got nothing today. Well, nothing but this nonsense cartoon:

Because of schedule conflicts, I didn't watch the last two Ducks games, in which Anaheim managed to score exactly zero goals. Fret not, though, I'll be watching tonight. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm still on a six-game win streak!

No Corey Perry for the next six weeks, I'm told, but I want to see how Carlyle plays this for a game before I say too much on that.

Prediction: Ducks 4, Habs 2. Goals by Scott Niedermayer, Bobby Ryan, Sammy Pahlsson, and Chris Kunitz. For your Canadiens coverage, go visit 4 Habs Fans.

Go Ducks.

WHAT.

The Sharks offered Steve Bernier for Sean Avery and the Rangers turned it down.

The Rangers turned it down.

The Rangers. Turned it down.

THE RANGERS TURNED IT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love that the Sharks couldn't get Sean Avery so they went out and got Brian Campbell.

I'm confused.

Kings Gameday: This Seems Familiar...

LA Kings (welp) vs. Montreal Canadiens (37-22-9, 2nd in East)

1:00 PST, FSN West



Tell me if you've heard this before:

-Goalie gets called up because of injury and incompetence among the top 2 Kings goaltenders

-Goalie plays well in a few games

-Goalie plays outstanding on a large stage and Kings fans fall in love

Who am I talking about? Erik Ersberg. And, Jonathan Bernier. Both are a little smaller than you'd like but both have great rebound control and very fluid motion. Bernier ended up proving he wasn't quite ready for the big show, while we'll have to wait and see what happens with Ersberg.

I'm not trying to be a downer; I'm actually in a great mood today because Corey Perry got hurt and I just heard Vin Scully say, "It's time for Dodgers baseball," for the first time this spring. I'm just saying, there's a reason Ersberg is just getting his shot in the NHL at the age of 26 (just turned today). I'd like to see him go on to become the next first great Kings goaltender, but I've seen too many come and go to get too excited right now.

***

Why do people hate Patrick O'Sullivan? I've noticed this for a while now, but the Senators game kind of brought it to a head. He got kneed, knocked down in front of the net, and then elbowed after he scored the game-clinching goal. I mean, he doesn't stick people as far as I can tell, and he never talks, so I don't get it. I have 2 theories:

1) His line. Opposing players can't hit Kopitar (because he's 6'4" and hitting him would start a war) or Brown (because he'd beat the hell out of them), so they go after O'Sullivan. The problem with this theory is that guys like to hit O'Sullivan even when he's not playing on the top line, so I don't think that's the only explanation.

2) His face. He always has that same look on his face. This one:



Look at that face. It's always the same. He scores, it's that face. He gets into a shoving match, it's that face. He's hanging out with supermodels...


...it's that face. The same slack jaw, those same cow eyes. I want to punch something just looking at it. I think guys see that face the entire game and it turns into maniacs. I fully expect to see Michael Komisarek try to fight Patty by the end of the game.

***

Speaking of Michael Komisarek, he's closing in on Dustin Brown's once substantial lead in hits. As of today, Brown is still leading with 274 hits, while Komisarek is in 2nd with 250. That is a story line to watch during the game, as they're likely to match up against one another.

Prediction: Kings win, 4-3. Goals by Frolov, Kopitar, Preissing and Calder. Brown levels Komisarek, who in turn levels Cammalleri. Tom Kostopolous tries to fight O'Sullivan but ends up looking ridiculous.

This Seems Dumb

When your team is in last place, you tend to place blame on a lot of people: the players, the coaches, the trainers, the beer vendors, Bailey, etc. One person I hadn't thought of blaming, however, was Phil Anschutz, owner of the Kings. Why didn't I think of that? Maybe because it's retarded. What say you, Steve Dilbeck?

Enough already.

Enough bluster. Enough talk of a different future.

Enough mediocre/simply bad hockey.

It is time for Philip Anschutz to sell the Kings. Time to wave goodbye.

Please.

Before you ask, no, Bill Plaschke did not write this article. Who the hell reads a Plaschke article and decides to copy that writing style, anyway?

It has been 13 years of failure for the Kings under Anschutz. Thirteen years with one playoff series victory. Thirteen years of pained, absentee ownership.

Yep, this is completely his fault.

Billionaire Phil is a veritable recluse living in Colorado, running an international empire that's believed to include more than 100 companies.

If the Kings are more than some toy, more than an anchor for his Staples Center and downtown development, he should say so. Better, he should prove it.

I don't understand what you want him to do. Sure, he's kind of weird and doesn't like the public, but what the fuck does that have to do with the Kings' performance? Are you saying the Kings need a hands-on owner like Mark Cuban or Al Davis, because if you are I will punch you in the balls.

He has the country's largest cattle and farm property, its largest theater chain, largest oil fields, a railroad, a telecommunications firm, arenas in London and Berlin and Kansas City, a movie production company, newspapers and Celine Dion to worry about.

Exactly... wait, is this supposed to be a point in your favor? "That bastard, trying to keep his shareholders happy. What about me, the fan of some hockey team??????"

He'll bring in David Beckham for his Galaxy. Build "L.A. Live" and the Home Depot Center. All while the Kings flounder, again. While the organization rebuilds again and gamely speaks of better days to come.

HE BUILT THE STAPLES CENTER FOR THE KINGS. He did that, like, in 1999? Remember? It's where the Kings play every day. Also, he built them a state-of-the-art training facility El Segundo around the same time. Also, he bought an AHL and ECHL franchise to streamline the organization. But he didn't sign David Beckham to play for the Kings, so he's a piece of shit.

Time to sell the team to somebody whose focus is not spread so thin. Who is less concerned with running the world than winning an NHL championship.

Disney was another world-wide company that owned and failed at running a hockey team. They sold the Ducks to Henry and Susan Samueli in 2005, and two years later Anaheim hoisted the Stanley Cup.

First, I don't understand why you would wish for an owner who is poorer than the one you currently have.

Second, that's a really good point. Remember that great goal Henry Samueli scored in Game 3 of the Finals? The Samueli's hired Brian Burke, who then created a great hockey team. For that, they deserve some credit. Do they deserve nearly as much credit as Burke, the players, and everyone on the coaching staff? I sure don't think so. Also, didn't the Ducks make the Finals when Disney owned the team?


It's not like it can't be done. The Kings need someone less fractured and more involved, need an owner whose connection goes beyond some weekly report and approval of expenditures.

(Emphasis mine) Okay, but then you say this:

Two years ago, this culture of losing was supposed to all change. The NHL finally adopted the salary cap that the team's then-president, Tim Leiweke, had long championed....

Leiweke announced it was a new day, and fired almost everyone of significance in the organization, including - sort of - himself.

"We've had one playoff win in 10 years," Leiweke said then. "Ownership is angry. We're tired of losing and want to win."

Aren't they forsaking possible revenues to build the team correctly? The Kings only have 1 playoff win in the last 10 years (fuck you, Detroit!) because they only cared about making money. They could have kept Demitra, Norstrom, and Conroy 2 years ago and continued to barely make the playoffs, but they decided to instead step back and build for a championship. That's good, right? I'm honestly lost. Where am I? I see pitchforks, am I in Hell?

And Lombardi has drafted well, built a promising core for the future. The veterans he signed to complement that youth have not been as successful, but he has pretty much done what he was hired to do.

This is great. I wonder who hired him...

Meanwhile, Billionaire Phil remains on his ranch and the Kings continue to stumble. They haven't made the playoffs since 2002, and of course, won't this year either.

Would it make you feel better if he bitched more? I genuinely do not understand what you're mad about, Steve Dillbeck.

Anschutz is not what is best for the Kings. Los Angeles - and the NHL - deserve a winning franchise here. Deserve an owner whose focus is on his team.

WHICH IS WHAT THEY'RE TRYING TO BUILD RIGHT NOW!!!@! Fuck!

That's pretty much the whole article (there's a pun at the end, read it yourself). The whole thing just seems pointless to me; people complain that Anschutz is looking for the quick fix but also complain that the Kings aren't winning right now. I don't see how he can win.*

The Kings' situation would be any better if Anschutz was at every game. The best thing an owner can do is hire a good person to run the team and then stay out of the way. Phil Anschutz gives off a Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood vibe, and the team wasn't run very well in the past (thanks, Dave Taylor), but things seem to be going pretty good now. We're going to get a high draft pick, we have an outstanding forward core and a 21 year-old defenseman playing 23 minutes a night. If everything works out and the Kings do become a "winning franchise," I'll be ecstatic and extremely grateful to Dean Lombardi and the players on the Kings. I may give a quick tip of the cap to Phillip Anschutz, but that's it. Why? BECAUSE NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE OWNER ARGHHH!!!!!!!


*Just a quick note: I read this last night and there was a spot in the article that talked about how Dave Taylor was fired two years ago and then went on to take Dallas from mediocre to Cup contenders. That is so mind-blowingly wrong (he was still with the team last year), ironic (because it's his fault the Kings didn't have any farm system to speak of when Lombardi took over), and retarded (when has Dallas ever been mediocre?) that I won't even try to write too much about it because I think my head would explode. All I'll say is that it was a damn good thing that passage was gone this morning.

BoC > BoO

Rawr.
And with that, the sweep is complete. I'm normally not a huge gloater, but sometimes things get so one-sided that I can't help myself.

January 9, 2008 Anaheim 5, Toronto 0.
January 10, 2008 Los Angeles 5, Toronto 2.
January 12, 2008 San Jose 3, Toronto 2.
March 3, 2008 Anaheim 3, Ottawa 1.
March 5, 2008 San Jose 3, Ottawa 2 (OT).
March 6, 2008 Los Angeles 2, Ottawa 0.

Battle of California 21, Battle of Ontario 7.
BoC takes it by two touchdowns. Sorry, fellas, but it just had to be done.

State Provincial Rape

Now available in Canada.
And don't even get me started about last year.

Sharks vs Ottawa Senators photos

Here are a few photos from the Sharks 3-2 overtime win over the Ottawa Senators.

Patrick Marleau is starting to roll. His overtime game winner against Ottawa stretched the Sharks winning streak to 7 games, vaulted the Sharks over Anaheim for 4th place in the Western Conference, and brought the Sharks within 3 points of Pacific-leading Dallas with 3 games in hand. The Sharks captain and oft-lamented trade rumor magnet scored 3 goals and 3 assists in his last 5 games, registering a +4 in that span.

Sharks head coach Ron Wilson strongly noted Marleau's recent turnaround to the media after the game, and said that a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders after the trade deadline expired without him being moved. Wilson also cracked on unidentified hockey reporter (allegedly Bruce Garrioch of the Ottawa Sun), for floating a number of foolish Marleau trade rumors. Wilson said that unidentified hockey reporter (allegedly Bruce Garrioch of the Ottawa Sun) was too afraid to come to the Sharks side of the post-game press conference and face the music for being so off base.

More photos and notes from Ottawa vs San Jose here.

Sports Illustrated asked NHL players to rank hockey fans by city. Montreal was overwhelmingly named the city with the best fans garnering 35% of the votes. Minnesota was second with 13%, Calgary third with 11%. Only California team to make the top ten... also the second best U.S. based fans according to NHL players... the San Jose Sharks in a 6th placed tie with Toronto at 5%.

Make that Exhibit 1B. Take that Letgokings.com and Allducks.com. War Thefeeder.com and the Hammerhead Booster Club.

Sharks vs Montreal Canadiens photos - exhibit 1A why hockey is better when played in Northern California

The Sharks hammered the Montreal Canadiens on Monday 6-4, knocking off the top team in the Eastern Conference. I spoke with a handful of fans, members of the Montreal media, and even a few empolyees of the Sharks, and many believe that was not only the best Sharks game of the year, but possibly the best game played at HP Pavilion in several years.

If you have NHL Center Ice, or NHL Center Ice Online, take a look back in the archived games section and give it a look. The action starts early. A few notes and more photos from the game are up on Sharkspage here.

War Chris Pronger's Jai-Alai helmet.





[Update] Here is bonus video of Brian Campbell's first post-game press conference in San Jose, and a couple of comments by Montreal Canadiens goaltender Carey Price. A transcript of Campbell's comments:

It is not something I am going out there and trying to do. It's a move that is successful in getting away from traffic. Either coming up the ice, it depends, it has to work right. Guys have to come at me right, and I have to have a little time. It's the first time I scored on it though. I will usually do it sometimes in my own end. Joe gae me a nice hard pass, so I had a little more time.

I love (playing at HP Pavilion). The crowd was loud. It was almost like a playoff atmosphere. I have been really, really surprised, in a good way. I am very happy with the situation right now.

The 5-on-3 really frustrated me that we did not get one there. We had a couple good chances, I had a couple good chances. We have to find a way to get those goals. All in all, I just have to go out and play my game... It's nice to win, and it's nice to score, but we have to keep rolling. We have some games in hand.

Kings Gameday: Vengeance

LA Kings (wrathful) vs. Ottawa Senators (37-24-7, 5th in East)

7:30 EST, FSN West

The Kings and the Senators last played in 2005. The game was chippy. Chris Neil got a 5-minute boarding penalty at the expense of Dustin Brown, and then Sean Avery ran into Dominic Hasek and fought Brian McGratton. Later in the game, Jeff Cowan fought Chris Kelly and won (I swear to God), although Chris Kelly is not much of a fighter. Even though Kelly dropped the gloves first and is the same size as Cowan, the Senators thought Cowan should have fought someone who was more of a fighter.*

In response, with his team up 4 goals, Zdeno Chara left his position to fight Tim Gleason. Although Tim Gleason was the biggest guy on the ice for the Kings**, Jim Fox took exception to the idea that the 6'9" Chara would instigate a fight with a 21 year-old and said so on air. He implicated Bryan Murray in the affair, implying that it was a common tactic utilized by Murray in his coaching career. Murray got pissed about that and yelled at Jim Fox after the game.




Now, I don't necessarily think Murray told Zdeno Chara to go fight Tim Gleason. I'm pretty sure Chara knew the game was out of reach and that he wouldn't get suspended (he's the best player on the team, it's not unusual for him to be out there) so he went ahead and sent a message. If a Senator wants to say that Avery intentionally took a run at Hasek and Jeff Cowan is a pussy, you will get absolutely no argument from me. However, nobody yells at Jim Fox. He's Jim Fox! That's like yelling at Kermit the Frog. A person who yells at Jim Fox is a person that kicks dogs. Fuck you, Bryan Murray, you dog kicker. I hope a Kings player takes a shot at your face tonight.


Prediction: Kings win, 5-4. Goals by Frolov (x2), Cammy, Handzus and Kopitar. After the game, Senators fans complain about the reffing, the ice quality, the travel, the food served before the game...

*I feel so confused writing this in 2008. Jeff Cowan, a fighter? When was he good at fighting? I remember him winning this one fight and that's it.

**This doesn't make Zdeno Chara tough, in my opinion. Say I go into an 8th grade classroom and fight the biggest kid in class: does that make me tough? I had hoped so, but apparently it just makes me a felon.

Ducks Gameday—The politics of power plays

Anaheim Ducks (38-24-7, 4th in west) at Colorado Avalanche (35-26-6, t-7th in west)

Whenever the Ducks beat an "elite" team these days, it seems the referee critics come out of the woodwork, and I'm not just referring to Bryan Murray. Here's a good example from a Sens blogger, who decided that now that Ottawa was losing games, it was an opportune time to blame referees for destroying hockey, or something to that effect. I'm not going to get too carried away with that piece (I only skimmed it), other than to say this: You cannot gain a sympathetic ear from me by complaining about refereeing after a loss. It's way too common, it's way too kneejerk, and it's way too whiny. Yes, there's blown calls and bad calls and phantom calls and inconsistency, but if you want to take up a fix-hockey cause, timing is critical. Complain after a win. Or better yet, after several wins. Make me believe that you care about the on-ice product and not the game result. If losses are your only impetus, then guess what? You're not improving anything; you're whining.

That's why it was so unexpectedly refreshing to read Dean Brown's blog entry after the Duck-Sen matchup (found via Kukla's). Brown is an Ottawa broadcaster, one whom you might expect the usual boo-hoo story from, but that is not the case. In fact, for most Duck fans, I consider his entry to be a must-read. It describes rather well an aspect I've believed about the Ducks and their penalties but never really voiced: Anaheim is taking advantage of Power Play Politics. PP Politics isn't a new feature of hockey, really, but it has gained more prominence since the lockout and the addition of new penalties.

Let me explain. In hockey, there are several penalties that have to be called. Let's call those the "hard penalties". Pucks over the glass, serious high-sticks or boards, blatant too-many-men, that sort of stuff. Referees need to call hard penalties or else they'd be accused of being blind or bought. Well below that level are softer penalties: sticks in a guy's skate, contact with a goaltender, iffy hits away from the puck, etc. Here's where things are a bit negotiable: penalties could be called in those situations, or they could be overlooked. So long as some of them get called, they remain penalties, but to call them all would be impractical. It would be impossible to play any real hockey, and the game would be reduced to power play parades and blowout scores.

So a referee is given the unenviable task of (a) calling a game by an increasingly rigid penalty book, yet (b) not deciding the game's outcome. This contradiction is the origin of Power Play Politics, how a modern referee can call both hard and soft penalties while remaining outcome-neutral. The bargaining chips for the referee are the soft calls—when and where those infractions get called can help re-establish neutrality.

The rules of PP Politics aren't exact rules, but a set of considerations: A team that is leading should be penalized more often than one that is trailing, especially late in a game. If one team has enjoyed a string of power plays, the next call should likely to go against them. There should be more scrutiny for players on the power play than the ones killing penalties.

When it comes to soft penalties, a political referee will reinforce his neutrality whenever he can. It's human nature, but even more than that, it fulfills a job description.

Dean Brown has caught onto that, and I think on some nights, he's certainly right. The Ducks can get so penalty-heavy that a ref feels obligated to scrutinize the opposition instead, and the Ducks end up with more leeway as a result. However, it's not all roses: with reputation can come a price. There are many games where referees are tough on Anaheim; they don't feel the need to remain penalty-neutral for the notoriously dirty Ducks. Also, it is worth noting that the strategy of playing dirty has a pretty high risk; it only can be successful if the team plays a dominant game on special teams and at even strength. Consider: in a five-game series against the Wild, Minnesota enjoyed 18:10 more power play time than the Ducks did, and in a six-game series against Detroit, the Wings had 19:34 more power play time than Anaheim. As much as we can say that dirty teams get benefit of PP Politics, there's still going to be stretches where games will have to be won despite huge discrepancies in man-advantage time (and I didn't mention 5-on-3s, which were also heavily skewed).

One thing I can say as a Ducks fan, this tendency for Anaheim to be shorthanded more than the opposition does teach a lesson about thick skin on penalty calls: I'm completely used to referee tendencies now. Seldom will you see me complaining about a specific call too much, because after a few years of dirty play, the Ducks have taught me the lesson: it's not good to be dependent on a referee in order to win games. Rather, the emphasis for Anaheim has been to win games regardless of referees. Well-called games or not, the key isn't so much to fixate on what should or shouldn't be a penalty, but rather to kill them off when they arise. And when shorthanded play occurs often enough, it emphasizes the need to produce at even strength.

And probably, that's the key. It's not that the Ducks are good because they play dirtier than anyone else. It's more that the Ducks are good in addition to being dirtier than anyone else, or even that they need to be really good in order to offset that feature. And even though I've grown accustomed to it, I wouldn't really complain if the Ducks cleaned up their act; there's been plenty of winning teams that didn't feature their penalty kill so prominently. I've rambled more than enough on this now; what are your thoughts? Is Anaheim strategic in their penalty prone play? Would Duck fans be disappointed if the team played more within the rules? How much of Anaheim's cup run is attributed to their penalty philosophy, or could the Ducks have won it all by playing "clean"? And if the Ducks decided to clean up their act, how long would it take for the reputation to disappear?

It's a challenging question, because most benefits are tough to quantify, whereas the cost of penalties is more evident. Still, your thoughts are welcome in the comments.

Prediction: Ducks 3, Avs 1. Goals by Weight, Pahlsson, and Bertuzzi. I again won't be free to watch this game, so let me know how it goes in the comments.

Go Ducks.

Get 'Tubed

(You should read Earl's gameday post below mine. I mean, if you want. I usually just skim over them, to be honest.)


Pick your favorite:


Kings Entry:



Dustin Brown puts Jay Mckee over the boards

Sharks Entry:



Brian Campbell Spin Move

Ducks Entry:



Ryan Getzlaf beats the shit out of Corey Perry in Practice

(Sorry, I couldn't find a good highlight from the Senators' game. Here's John Buccigross' live blog of the game, though.)

Ducks Gameday—Like taking candy from a Blackhawk

Anaheim Ducks (38-23-7, 3rd in west) at Chicago Blackhawks (32-28-6, t-11th in west)

The table below shows all of Anaheim's 14 western conference opponents (plus a 15th group, the eastern conference), and the Ducks' regular season record against each opponent since the NHL lockout. Essentially, this list represents which teams the Ducks have most easily taken points against, and you can see that Chicago sits way way atop this list.

(Click image to enlarge)
The Blackhawks, as I've heard time and time again, are a young improving team, so I guess someday soon I'm going to miss this era where the Ducks show up and automatically collect two points. Not too soon, I hope. Chicago has been Anaheim's best boost for offense, defense, and penalty killing.

Some other comments about this opponent table:

• Oh yeah, now I remember why I hate the Stars. The Ducks have only beaten the Stars seven times since the lockout. To put that in perspective, they have beaten five non-divisional opponents that many times over the same stretch. By my eye, the problem for the Ducks has been perpetual puck-chasing. Anaheim loves dumping in pucks and retrieving, but they don't get to do much retrieving against Dallas and crazy Turco. Oddly, I think I've been to two Stars games since the lockout and the Ducks won 'em both (including one in a shootout where Carlyle threw out Jonathan Hedstrom and Rob Niedermayer, if you can believe it).



• As for the rest of the Pacific, you guys are all right. Of Anaheim's five favorite western opponents, three sit nearby in the Pacific Division, which is particularly sweet when playing in a division-heavy schedule. I don't get the sense that this one-sidedness will last terribly long for the Ducks, though. The Sharks are bound to get their shit together at some point, and the Kings can't possibly get worse (uh, right, Rudy?). The Coyotes have already turned a corner; they've won more games against Anaheim this year than they had the previous two years combined, which really speaks to the Chicago-like stranglehold the Ducks once held over Gretzky's bunch.



• Sure, why not have more interconference games? On principle, I am against having more east-west games. Since opposite-conference teams do not compete on the same standings, I find these games to be less compelling. Sure both teams want to win and get the two points, but there isn't any urgency to keep the opponent from getting a point also. In east-west games, getting to overtime is a win-win proposition, and I don't think that's a good incentive for the league to build on. Still, I guess I can understand fans wanting to see distant players (though I generally see players better on TV than in person), and I'm not the guy who has to do the extra traveling, so sure, NHL. Have it your way. From the looks of things, the Ducks are better off playing extra games against the east (especially Ottawa, apparently) than they are against anyone in the Northwest Division.

There's about another week of "loose end" opponents before the Ducks break into full Pacific mode, and frankly, I can't wait. The storylines have been brewing since Christmas. The Ducks are supercharged with Niedermayer and Selanne, and the Sharks are hitting stride with Campbell and re-emerging forces in Cheechoo and Marleau. The Stars got past both those teams without Zubov or Boucher, and now they've added millionaire Brad Richards to a formidable roster. The Coyotes are howling for that eighth seed and some '06-style Bryzgalov postseason magic, and the Kings are flat-out determined to fuck up somebody's seed. A Pacific Division Finale seems an awesome way to end this year—selfishly, from a BoC perspective, who says the schedule needs fixing?

Prediction: My commuting life sucks this week, and I probably won't get to watch tonight's or tomorrow's game until probably Friday. Don't worry about spoiling anything; I'll be informed enough to know the score. If anyone wants to let me know their game impressions, though, I'd be glad to read 'em. Oh as for the game prediction, let's call it a tight one. After all, Chicago is a young improving team. Ducks 4, Hawks 3. Goals by Beauchemin*, Getzlaf, Pahlsson, and May. As a bonus, Bryan Murray gets ejected from the game for trethpathing.

Go Duckth.

* My latest craze is to yell, "Take THAT, Bergeron!" any time a Duck blueliner scores a goal. Or even if there's a good shot on net. It turns out I'm yelling that phrase quite a bit, actually—I've also incorporated it into my video game lingo and used it while driving in SoCal traffic.

Great hockey un-retirements

Unless you suffered from a 24-hour coma, you've probably heard the news that Brett Favre retired from the game of football.

The first thing I did after I learned the news from Satan Skip Bayless and the WWL crew was send my buddy a text message that compared Favre to Tupac (faking his [football] death, not having a blood feud with an obese East Coast rival).

Not soon after, my thoughts turned to the great hockey un-retirements...which made me realize just how much more I have to learn about hockey history.*

In fact, I'd like to make an open challenge to NHL history guru Joe Pelletier to educate us young 'uns about the sure-to-be myriad hockey returns I don't know about. But for the sake of brevity, let me run briefly through the ones that come to mind and give each one a snarky rating at the end.

The near-simultaneous Teemu and Niedermayer de-tirements

Obviously since these "returns" happened just this year, we won't know where each reemergence ranks in hockey history until the playoffs take place. But I think I speak for non-Ducks fans everywhere when I call these returns "glorified vacations." Or, lame.

Rating: Somewhere between the trade-enforced return of Keith Van Horn and whenever oblivious 80's teen movie parents return from their vacation early to stumble upon their children's massive keg party.

Saku Koivu defeats cancer

There's a lot to like about Koivu, but most of all you really have to marvel at the guy's resiliency. If it weren't for the fact that Mario Lemieux won a friggin' Hart Trophy while recovering from chemo therapy, I think Koivu would get more credit for his stunning recovery. I also recall a player coming back from cancer in the late '90s, but his name escapes me. I'm definitely going to kick myself for forgetting his name.
Rating: A partial Lance Armstrong.

Mario Lemieux's return

Has there been a more special return, considering their run to the Eastern Conference Finals and the fact that both Jagr and Lemieux were in the top-3 in Hart Trophy voting that year? Of all the experiences in my life, I think that playoff/regular season run might be the moment I will never be able to judge objectively.

Rating: Jordan returning from baseball...and the world deleting any memory of his time wearing a Wizards jersey.

Gordie Howe's 5 million returns

The Gordie Howe hat trick might be one of Howe's lasting legacies, but the guy had more hockey lives than a cat. Any time you see some boxer keep coming back or witness some legend foolishly trying to rekindle the magic of the past, just point to Howe.

He played on a line with his SONS!

Rating: No comparison. Also, doesn't he sort of look like Chris Cooper in that photo? Gordie Howe kicks ass. He might be hockey's Ditka.

* I would like to mention that I didn't forget Ken Dryden, who might be the only hockey player to ever leave the sport early...for his education. If you consider yourself a good hockey fan and even slightly enjoy reading, "The Game" is absolutely required reading. This is non-negotiable.

Random thoughts from HP Pavillion

(Cross-posted at my blog)

Random observations from the Shark Tank last night:

On the ice:

-Chicken or the egg question: Is Patrick Marleau playing better because he didn't get traded or did he not get traded because Doug Wilson saw his game trending up? I'm guessing the former, though Marleau's looked like he's been shot out of a cannon for the past few games. If he keeps this up, things might actually be ok.

-While the power play looked much better since the arrival of Brian Campbell, the 5-on-3 was still frustratingly static. Guys, if the passing and shooting lanes are clogged up, that's why you have to rotate rather than stand still.

-I don't care how inconsistent Matt Carle's been lately, I'd rather have him out there than Kyle McLaren pretending to be a pylon. Someone give McLaren a bionic knee before he gets back on the ice, please.

-I didn't see an official stat on this, but when did Christian Ehrhoff become Lord of the Blocked Shot?

-While this game had its sloppy moments, I think the one thing that Sharks fans really have to recognize is that 1) they recovered from their sloppy moments 2) they stayed physical the whole game 3) they got contributions from every line. Lots of positives today, but I hope the team doesn't start to believe their own press clippings -- bad stuff happens when they do that.

Off the ice:
-Kudos to the many Habs fans in attendance who were, for the most part, cheering without being terribly obnoxious (no fist fights on the concourse). It created a rowdy atmosphere that, at least from where I sat, made it a lot more fun without getting nasty. I don't know if the players fed off of this, but it was a pretty chippy game for two teams that never see each other.

-The lone exception to this that I saw was one female fan in the section next to me was sitting by herself, though she was drinking for two. Think Girls Gone Wild-meets-puck bunny in a red t-shirt -- there's nothing like running up the section's stairway with a shot in either hand. Plenty of bad post-goal white girl dance moves, too. For the entire third period, she was waving her arms and screaming nonsense at the ice, both before and after the usher asked her to calm down. She did, however, STFU after the Brian Campbell goal.

-The insane woman who sits behind me was on fire last night as she was egged on by the enthusiastic kid next to her (at least she kept edited her swearing for him). She was so bad that the guy next to me leaned over and said, "I really want to punch her in the face."

-The really, really, really long ovation for Campbell after his ridiculous spin-o-rama goal was 17,000 people saying, "Please, for the love of Jebus, sign here! We'll give you whatever you want!" On the jumbotron, Campbell looked pretty embarressed from the love-in and offered a few sheepish waves, but you could tell that he appreciated it. I hope Doug Wilson met him in the tunnel with a contract and a pen.

Kings Gameday: Uh-Oh

LA Kings (thud) @ St. Louis Blues (28-27-10, 14th in West)

5:30 PST, FSN West

I write for a blog, and as part of that I'm required to love Alex Ovechkin. (I'm also required to kill 1 person of Eric McErlain's choosing.) Last night on Versus, they showed a little thing about Ovechkin and a few other Capitals tooling around on Segways and it was hilarious. Here's a little clip:




So, as you see, I love Alex Ovechkin. But lately, Ovechkin has been pissing me off. He had a hat trick last night to bring his goal total up to 52 on the season, and I just realized that Alex is dangerously close to breaking Luc Robitaille's immortal single-season record for most goals by a left winger. Robitaille, of course, set the record in '92-'93. Wayne Gretzky was injured for about half that season, so Luc carried the team (with an assist or 60 by Jari Kurri). I can't hear the number "63" without automatically thinking about Luc Robitaille and that beautiful Cup run that culminated with Los Angeles' victory over Toronto. (Nothing happened after that, you hear me? Nothing!!!) If Ovechkin takes that away, I may not be able to like him anymore.

Note: May not actually be Luc Robitaille

But Ovechkin seems like a cool guy, so I'll make him a deal: stop scoring goals so much and I won't have to hate you. Score, like, 60 goals. That's very respectable and absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Leave Luc with the record. Leave me with the record. Please?

***

Brian Hayward was in rare form last night during the Ducks-Senators game. When he wasn't bitching that Marty Turco was one of the NHL's Players of the Month instead of Giguere (and he has a point, but who cares?), he was harping on the size of Martin Gerber's pads. John Ahlers got in on the action, at one point saying (paraphrase), "Is it possible that Gerber's pads are so voluminous, that he can't feel the puck, is that something that's... (5-second pause) ...Niedermayer passes out of the corner..." Martin Gerber has large pads, huh? I wonder where he could have learned that little trick...

***

Oh wait, there's a game today. Umm, the Kings have been losing a lot despite the play of the young guys, and Jack Johnson almost killed a guy. The Blues suck, they're in 14th in the West, Paul Kariya is a douche bag, blah, blah, blah.

Prediction: Kings win, 21-7, Kopitar with 2 touchdown passes, Brown with a rushing TD. ...Wait, the Kings play hockey???

I Guess I Should Talk About This

Jack Johnson finally mother fucked someone.

There are a few murmurings that even though the hit was legal, maybe Johnson should have let up because Smyth was in a dangerous situation. That's reprehensibly retarded.* Ryan Smyth tried to jump past Johnson and Johnson put him into the boards; was Johnson supposed to notice the turnbuckle and then decide, "Oh, I don't want to hurt this noble hero, I'll give him a free pass?" Fuck no, Johnson buried Ryan Smyth because Smyth would have done the same thing to him. I'm sorry Smyth got hurt (I guess I have to say that), but that's what happens when you play his style of game.

***

I appreciate Ian Lapperierre's conduct in the aftermath of the incident. He didn't jump Johnson from behind or stick him in the ribs, he asked him, "Do you want to get it over with?" and allowed Johnson the chance to settle it like a man. I don't necessarily agree that Johnson needed to fight (since the hit was clean), but if you're going to get retribution, you do it like that.

I also liked how Rob Blake broke the two up before they fought. Again, I don't necessarily agree that he did it (let Johnson kick Laparierre's ass if he wants), but I appreciate the way he did it. Johnson is Blake's responsibility and it made me smile to see him come to his aid.

***

I always made fun of Ryan Smyth because he wears his helmet so loosely; I argued that he did it on purpose because he didn't like wearing a helmet and thought his hair looked cool when it was flying all over the place. Hopefully now he'll tighten that shit up so he doesn't crack his head. Also, he should get rhinoplasty. Not because of the hit, but just because his nose is fucking huge.

*It gives me no greater glee than to point out that it's mostly Canadians making that argument. I wonder what they'd be saying if a European had been hit like that.

Ducks Gameday—Back so soon?

Ottawa Senators (37-23-6, t-3rd in east) at Anaheim Ducks (37-23-7, 3rd in west)

It's been nearly nine months since the Senators set foot in Anaheim, which means it's been nearly nine months since I wept tears of joy, but my grin still remains.

And while both these teams have near-identical records coming into this game, there's certainly been an odd pattern in getting there. The Ducks were a .500 team before Scott Niedermayer returned to the lineup (15-15-4), but they have amassed a 22-8-3 record ever since. The Senators, meanwhile, screamed out of the gate. They were 21-7-3 before Scott returned to the league, but have been reduced to a .500 club ever since (16-16-3). I'm not sure why the Sens have so much trouble winning in a league with two Niedermayers, but there you have it.

I spent some time today watching a few games from that SCF series; wow that was a crazy series. I mean, with Minnesota, Vancouver, and Detroit at least we had some idea of how the teams matched up, but Ottawa was a very unfamiliar foe (for nostalgia's sake, here's 10 questions about the Senators and 9 questions about the Ducks from before the finals). In the west, Pahlsson had been shutting down scoring lines all playoffs, but on the other hand the Spezza line was ripping through checking lines in the east with ease. It seemed whoever won that matchup was likely to take the series, and fortunately for me, Sammy dominated, and it wasn't really close. For Sens fans who haven't followed the Ducks since last June, the checking line is still intact; McDonald and Penner have departed, but have been replaced by Bertuzzi, Weight, Schneider, and Bergeron. It's scary, but this year's Ducks team may turn out to be better than last year's version; since Selanne's return Anaheim is 10-1, an eleven-game record that they were only able to accomplish once last year.

For more Sens-friendly coverage, check out Battle of Ontario, Scarlett Ice, Sens Army, and Five for Smiting.

I can tell you that I'm pumped for tonight's game, because I'll be in a familiar spot: sporting the lucky green shirt and sitting in the Row B seats (the same ones I had for SCF G2: Sammy 1, Sens 0). I imagine I'll be playing the part of the loud-mouthed gloater, especially once I get some liquor in me. Feel free to stop by and say hi, or catch me in the intermissions hanging with the smokers.

Prediction: The really sweet thing is, it doesn't even matter what happens tonight. If the Ducks beat the Sens tonight, then Ottawa fans will be depressed—they aren't any closer than they were last spring. If the Sens beat the Ducks tonight, then Ottawa is depressed for another reason—where was that effort last June when they really needed it? Well, I'll take Option A: Ducks 4, Senators 2. Anahiem goals by Selanne, Coach Pronger, Pahlsson, and G5 hero Chris Phillips. A frustrated Daniel Alfredsson maliciously shoots a puck at the cup banner.

Go Ducks.

A few nuggets

• The Lakers-Mavericks game is getting me pumped up for what could be one of the greatest 1-2 punches in years: the NHL playoffs and the NBA's Western Conference playoffs. It's quite possible I might go as far as taking a human life in order to acquire a DVR/TiVo for all these great games I'll be missing at work.
  

It also brought up another question. Is there an NHL player who is as unstoppable, but at times unappreciated like Kobe Bryant?

At 36, Jaromir Jagr cannot really physically dominate like he used to, but that's the first name I could come up with. Both stars are generally disliked, they both won championships early in their careers and they both demanded a trade that would separate them from their bigger-than-life running mates (for Kobe it was Shaq; for Jagr it was Lemieux even if the Jagr situation probably had more to do with his obese gambling debts).

I think the most shocking similarity is that Jagr and Bryant have exactly one regular season MVP trophy between the two of them (Jagr's sole Hart Trophy), even though they've easily been one of the top 3 scorers in their respective leagues for several years. That just shows you how trend-heavy trophy voting is. I, for one, would like the flavor of the month shit to stop.

At least it's not as bad as coach of the year voting, though, where it's not out of the question for a coach of the year to be fired the next season.

Making this man look good is not an easy task

• Fantasy hockey created a soft spot in my heart for the Hurricanes when they were on their Stanley Cup run, but reading about the highly probable movement of the Seattle Supersonics makes me feel guilty for developing a liking for Eric Staal and Joe Camel.

That guilt stems from the notorious relocation of the Hartford Whalers to Raleigh. Here's a few comments that were featured in The Sports Guy's column:

" City: Austin, Texas
Name: Jack

This whole situation is eerily familiar to the Hartford Whalers fiasco of the 1990s. The team was sold to petulant, whining owner who, after systematically trading away almost every talent on the team, save a couple of players (Primeau), demands a new arena, then blasts the city and the governor for not being committed enough, moving the team to some small market and leaving a city scorned and a generation of young fans disillusioned.

As a kid in Hartford, I hated Peter Karmanos, that rat of an owner, with every inch of my body. When I saw the Hurricanes win the Stanley Cup, I was happy for Glen Wesley, the only Whaler left ... until I saw Karmanos hoist the Cup. To this day, the feeling of emptiness I had, sitting in the Hartford Civic Center after the last game, seeing the players throw all their equipment into the stands, is something I will never forget. I hope everyone will realize just how pathetic and truly evil the ownership of these two organizations were.

---

City: Beacon Falls, Conn.
Name: Mark

I was a Hartford Whalers season-ticket holder for 10 years before they were stolen from a small group of loyal fans and moved to that hockey hotbed, Raleigh, N.C., by Peter Karmanos. I've yet to watch a hockey game since they moved and feel for every Sonics fan out there. There were signs in the Civic Center that said, "Kuck Faramanos" but were taken down by management. A note to all Sonic fans: You'll really resent ownership if/when the team wins a championship in their new city. That's how I felt when the Carolina Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup.

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City: Hartford, Conn.
Name: Dan

I wish this forum were around when the Whale left town. Losing a team is like a death in the family.

At times it seems like the Simmons is losing his fastball, but this is one of his greatest moments as a sports writer. Considering his prominence on ESPN.com, this controversy might actually make Daniel Stern look worse than Gary Bettman. Now THAT is impressive.

• Question: What entity was hotter in the month of February: Pensblog or the Dallas Stars (who posted an NHL record of 12 wins during Black History/Every Man's Least Favorite Hallmark Holiday Month)? That's a tough call.

• I recently purchased an X-Box 360 and am delighted that Brad Richards makes the Dallas Stars such an improved video game offense in NHL '08. My question is: who are the ideal digi-linemates for B-Rad? I don't have a good enough Internet situation to own bitches on X-Box Live just yet, but in two weeks I'm going to demand some sort of Battle of California NHL '08 Tournament.
  

This would be a unique opportunity for Rudy Kelly to get a chance to gloat about the Los Angeles Kings (although he might be smart to pick a different team since their goalies are horrid...who said video games aren't realistic?). Anyway, I'll spread the word once I get some high speed internet action (probably sometime soon after March 15, aka payday).

• Stars fans, I must ask: who would be the most gratifying team to beat in the playoffs? I'd guess Colorado and Detroit would be high on the list for nostalgic reasons, but I'd love to see the Stars get revenge against the Canucks. Roberto Luongo stole that series. That, I feel, must be avenged.
  

• I'm definitely jazzed up for the playoffs, as you can tell. I can already feel my playoff beard* growing.

*I am completely unable to grow respectable facial hair, so when I say "I can already feel my playoff beard growing" what I really meant to say was "my beard lust is increasing by the second."