Kings Gameday: Rudy Takes Offense to an Imaginary Slight

Much has been made in the hockey world of the start of the Columbus Blue Jackets, up until now a miserable hockey team and a black eye to the city of Columbus, the NHL, and the Earth. Part of me feels glad for Blue Jackets fans (congratulations, Keith!), but another, darker part of me wants to know why the Kings aren’t getting a piece of the action*. This is the same part of me that reads other fans’ message boards at Hockey’s Future to find any slight traces of disrespect towards the Kings, which I then rail against to my cat. (He doesn't care.) Seriously, though, if you look at the keys to the Blue Jacket's success, you'll see that the Kings have them trumped. To wit:

A Young Canadian Goal Scorer

The main reason the Blue Jackets have been getting so much attention is because of the Canadian press’ undying fascination with Rick Nash. I’m not sure why. He seems okay, but not that great. I can think of 10 people under the age of 25 I'd rather have on my team than Nash. Besides, we also have a young Canadian goal scorer: Michael Silvio Lorenzo Cammalleri. Where’s his love? My only guess is that Canadians hate Italians. To be fair, everyone does, so I can't blame them.

A Red-Hot Goaltender

Pascal Leclaire has been insanely good this pre-season, causing fantasy owners who used a high draft pick to draft Roberto Luongo, Mikka Kiprusoff (how awesome would it be if he had a .870 Sv. % the life of his contract?), and Martin Brodeur to shake their fists with rage. Still, Jason LaBarbera has been rather hot of late, recently winning defensive player of the week. Besides, Pascal Leclaire really, really looks like Cha-Ka From Land of the Lost. Seriously. I'm not dicking around. Look at 'em! The Blue Jackets win this one, but it’s not as big a landslide as you may think.

It's uncanny.

An Aging, Overpaid Defenseman

Adam Foote is getting paid $4.6 million this year. He also sucks. One astute Blue Jackets fan on Hockeysfuture.com said this:

"Multi acasions of half assed attempts to clear on the pen. Kill, one whice alomst lead to a goal. He is not putting in HALF he effort he shoudl be for the money hes making, and the "C" hes earned on his shirt"

I could add more about Foote, but that says it all, doesn’t it? But we also have a slow, overpaid defenseman, and we actually had him when he was good; I think we have it worse.

A Worthless Former Superstar That Cost Francois Beauchemin and Todd Marchant, Two Players That Eventually Became Key Cogs on a Stanley Cup Winning Team

Whoops.

I have to give it to the Blue Jackets, they got us there.

I don’t see the Blue Jackets keeping this up. I mean, Michael Peca is their top center, for God’s sake. So far they have relied on the ridiculousness of their goaltending, and I don’t think a guy named after a wager and a pastry can keep it up over a full season. In Leclaire's most recent shutout he had 36 saves. That’s ridiculous and his little run ends tonight.

Prediction: Kings win, 4-1. Goals by Brown, Frolov (x2), and Calder.


*It’s also always bothered me that Ohio takes exceptional pride in their role in the Civil War, like they sacrificed more than anyone else. You know who else took part in the Civil War? Every other fucking state in the North, and they didn’t have their southern half trying to secede the entire time. But I digress.

Battle of Costumefornia

Play safe tonight, everyone, and have a great night.

October: not a bad month for Teemu to take off

Well, as this season continues without much to get excited for, I thought I'd take a look at last year's goal-scorers, mostly to highlight the awesomeness that was Teemu Selanne. The table below is the listing of the top 30 goal-scorers from last season (33 goals or more), separated by what they scored in October '06 vs. what they scored over the remainder of the season. I've sorted by goals scored in October.

Player	Age 10/4/06	Conf	Oct. GP	Oct. G	Oct. G/Gm	Post-Oct. GP	Post-Oct. G	Post-Oct. G/Gm
C. Drury	30.1	East	11	10	.909	66	27	.409
M. Hossa	27.7	East	13	10	.769	69	33	.478
I. Kovalchuk	23.5	East	13	9	.692	69	33	.478
A. Semin	22.6	East	11	8	.727	66	30	.455
D. Heatley	25.7	East	11	7	.636	71	43	.606
M. St. Louis	31.3	East	11	7	.636	71	36	.507
T. Vanek	22.7	East	11	7	.636	71	36	.507
J. Pominville	23.8	East	11	7	.636	71	27	.380
S. Crosby	19.2	East	9	6	.667	70	30	.429
J. Iginla	29.3	West	10	6	.600	60	33	.550
V. Lecavalier	26.5	East	11	6	.545	71	46	.648
A. Ovechkin	21.0	East	11	6	.545	71	40	.563
S. Gagne	26.6	East	11	6	.545	65	35	.538
J. Blake	33.1	East	11	6	.545	71	34	.479
R. Smyth	30.6	West	11	6	.545	60	30	.500
M. Hejduk	30.6	West	11	6	.545	69	29	.420
E. Malkin	20.2	East	5	5	1.000	73	28	.384
J. Sakic	37.2	West	11	5	.455	71	31	.437
J. Spezza	23.3	East	11	5	.455	56	29	.518
J. Williams	25.0	East	12	5	.417	70	28	.400
O. Jokinen	27.8	East	13	5	.385	69	34	.493
J. Cheechoo	26.2	West	13	5	.385	63	32	.508
D. Sedin	26.0	West	13	5	.385	68	31	.456
M. Cammalleri	24.3	West	14	5	.357	67	29	.433
B. Guerin	35.9	West	10	4	.400	67	32	.478
A. Frolov	24.3	West	14	4	.286	68	31	.456
K. Huselius	24.3	West	10	2	.200	71	32	.451
D. Langkow	30.0	West	10	2	.200	71	31	.437
H. Zetterberg	26.0	West	11	2	.182	52	31	.596
T. Selanne	36.3	West	12	1	.083	70	47	.671

Take a look at that bottom row. Not only is Teemu the 2nd-oldest player among these top 30 goal scorers and the only western conference player to score 40 or more goals, but he did it on the strength of exactly one October goal. Starting in November, Selanne's surge began—from November 1st on, Selanne led this list (and presumably the league) both in total goals scored and goals-per-game.

I really have no idea where Teemu sits when it comes to his plans for this year. For whatever reason, I get the feeling that he is waiting on Scott to make a decision before he'll make one, which strikes me as rather odd. Generally thus far, all my retirement posts have been concerning the whereabouts of a certain Scott Niedermayer; even with forward injuries and depth issues I feel like Scott's decision is more critical to the Ducks' chances this year. Still, I really should stop neglecting Teemu. His 76 goals is the highest total for any first-year NHLer, and his 48 goals may end up being the highest total for any final-year NHLer (does anyone know how to verify that?). And heck, it may even be the highest total for any player coming out of October with one or fewer goals. Whether he retires or not, I think the evidence is pretty darn strong: the Finnish Flash has still got a scoring touch that still ranks among the league's best.

C'mon, Teemu. You've got the touch, and besides, you've only got one less goal than you did this time last year.

Welcome to the NHL

I'm guessing rookie Devin Setoguchi is enjoying a nice flight back to California with the rest of his Shark teammates. His day began preparing for his 1st ever NHL game. He started on a 3rd line but by the 3rd period he found himself on a line with Joe Thornton and Milan Michalek. To top off his night, he scored two 3rd period goals within 3 mins of each other including the game winner in San Jose's 4-2 win in Dallas. He was smart and did what any Thornton linemate should do when Joe has the puck, go to the net and have your stick on the ice. Both of his goals were carbon copies with Joe camping behind the net and looking out front for a streaking Seto who one-timed it both times past Marty Turco. Seto looked like a young...well shall I say... Jonathan Cheechoo. Speaking of which, what has happened to the guy who scored 56 goals just 2 years ago. Tonight we started on the 4th line and played only 9:48. He did have one assist and cancelled out an icing late in the game with his hustle, but he just doesn't look like the same player. Could it be he is still not over his injury he suffered in the 1st round of the playoffs last year? He does have 2 goals and 3 assists this season which is decent, but he is not getting his normal scoring chances even when playing with Thornton.

3 days off and a home and home series with the LA Kings this weekend.

Well Look at That...

With all the teeth-gnashing going on among the other BoC fan bases (after last season I kind of feel like an Ethiopian kid watching two Americans complain that their steak isn’t cooked well enough), I thought I would point out the current standings in the Battle of California:

Los Angeles Kings: 6-6, 12 pts.
San Jose Sharks: 5-5-1, 11 pts.
Anaheim Ducks: 4-7-2, 10 pts.

Yes, friends, the Kings are in first place. Do I expect this to last all season? Absolutely.

***

This was in the New York Post today:



"Dog bites man: Kings players, we're told, are already tired of Marc Crawford. Meanwhile, we've heard that players in L.A. are far more confident in netminder Jason Labarbera than are either Crawford or GM Dean Lombardi."



Hmm, seeing as how the Kings haven't played anyone in New York this year, so I wonder who started this rumor. Whoever it was, here's what I say to you:

Just like the movies—Ducks start their sequel year in the toilet

Sweet lord. The Ducks, tasked with holding up a one-goal lead for twelve minutes, managed to give up a shorthanded goal with a minute-and-a-half left before giving two points up to the Oilers' 2nd goalie in the shootout. The Oilers, of course, are the one team that the Ducks are least interested in giving two points to, because Anaheim holds their Penner first-round pick for next year.

The Ducks are pathetic in so many ways it's disgusting.

• The power play is pretty much a liability—all it seems to do is eat up key player minutes. In the last eight games (six of them in Honda Center), Anaheim has enjoyed nearly 68 minutes of 5-on-4 PP time, and managed to score one goal, while allowing one. Sure there's personnel issues with the 2nd unit, but the fact is the top unit players are probably more guilty of underproducing with the man-advantage than the checking line is.
• The Ducks have trailed by a goal for 220:47 and scored 4 goals—one goal every 55 minutes. The team has led by a goal for 103:02, and allowed 8 goals—one goal every 13 minutes.
• The Ducks' record is 4-7-2, good for 10 points through 13 games. Wanna know how many teams have made the playoffs the last two years with 10 or fewer points through their first 13 games? One—the Calgary Flames, who have actually done it twice. Calgary started with that same 4-7-2 record each of the last two years.
• If you project the current record to 82 games, that would make for 25-44-13, 63 points. That would have been good for 28th in the league in 2005-06 and 29th in the league last year.
• And it's not like competition is much of a factor, either. The last two games the Ducks have lost home games to the two bottom teams in the west, each playing their backup goalies, and couldn't manufacture a win either time. Against this competition, the Ducks scored 2 goals in 125 minutes.

And yeah there's help coming—Getzlaf, R. Niedermayer, Bertuzzi, and Schneider for sure, and we'll have to wait and see with S. Niedermayer and Selanne. The real tragedy is that this team figures to be be an awesome lineup if all its pieces came together, but when is it going to be too late? How long can it dig itself a hole among the NHL's worst?

I hate to be the one to bring it up, but really this whole harsh fall-from-grace theme has already been played out on the big screen, and apparently our hopes for this year rest on the rest of the D2 script playing true. The story thus far:

A hockey team of castaways is thrust into the national spotlight following the success it achieved in the previous season. Ill-prepared for all the hype, they are embarrassed on and off the ice, and proceed to lose their temper and refuse to play well as a team.

In true Disney fashion, then, I'd expect the team to get bolstered with a few familiar faces (Scott & Teemu) and through some off-ice bonding, rediscover the meaning of teamwork in the face of adversity. In fact, I'm kind of hoping that the Ducks take this movie re-enactment to the limit.

Imagine: a second-period-intermission that really turns the shitty season around. After getting outworked and outscored for forty minutes, the team shockingly returns clad in their old eggplant-and-teal cartoon jerseys and teamed with some suddenly unretired-and-eligible superstars. Opponents, announcers, league lawyers, and fans are all shocked, but somehow in the name of drama it all gets allowed. The Re-Mightified Ducks then rediscover their identity and on-ice domination and pull off a memorable comeback win, before having to re-learn the lesson the following season.

I know throwing my hopes up against a Disney sequel script is idiotic, but at this point what choice do I have? The on-ice results are beyond disappointing; this squad bears zero resemblance both in personnel and performance to the team that cruised through last spring's playoffs. And while there still is some hope tied to the white knights named Niedermayer and Selanne, I'm not sure how excited they will be to pin their unretirement hopes on a team that seems to have lost its ability to manufacture a basic win.

Maybe I'm being overly panicky here; the schedule is still not yet 1/5 played, and both my head and my Playstation tell me that a team boasting a blueline of Niedermayer, Pronger, Beauchemin, and Schneider can get the wins together to propel this team to the playoffs. Still, Anaheim is a team that needs some good news quickly, or else the question won't be "are the Ducks going to be this year's version of the Carolina Hurricanes?" but rather "are the Ducks going to be this year's version of the Philadelphia Flyers?"

A Hollywood-style ending is not out of the question for this Anaheim team, but the margin for error is deteriorating fast. Better start working on that knucklepuck, Giguere.

Hello Pacific Division

After playing their first 11 games versus non-division opponents, the Sharks will play their next 12 within the Pacific Division. The month of November could be very important to this team. Will another inconsistent month put coach Ron Wilson on the hot seat? Everyone knows there is a certain shelf-life for coaches. Have the Sharks started to tune out their coach? Their last 2 performances seemed to be lifeless with many of the players blaming themselves but could there be rumblings in the locker room?

With injuries to Rob Davison (finger) and Ryane Clowe (leg), the Sharks have decided to bring up highly touted former 1st round draft picks Devin Setoguchi and Lukas Kaspar. Setoguchi appeared to make the team out of training camp but a nagging ankle injury forced him to start the season in Worcester. Hopefully these 2 youngsters bring some energy and life to the lineup. Look for both of them to be in the lineup versus Dallas on Monday. This will be the Sharks 3rd game in 4 nights and the last game of a 4 game road trip so we shall see what kind of energy they bring to the game after 2 horrible performances. This game will end their month of October where they saw themselves playing only 3 home games compared to 10 road games (which is not necessarily a bad thing considering the Sharks strong road record and mediocre home record).

Kings Gameday: Who's Up For Some Libel?

Los Angeles Kings (5-6, 3rd in Pacific) vs. Edmonton Oilers (4-6, 5th in Northwest)

7 PST, FSN West and CBC

Edmonton's Town Square.

Edmonton is a sad little town. Oilers fans are probably the most dedicated fans in the NHL because really, what else are they going to do? Edmonton kind of strikes me as that shitty kid in your 5^th grade class who smelled and kept sand bees in his desk but you went to his birthday party anyway because he had a bounce house and a Batman impersonator. “C’mon guys, I have North America’s largest mall! And do you like festivals? We got festivals coming out the ass! Please hang out with me?” I like to think that they had Chris Pronger show up on a specific day where they had the Whore Festival or something and then showed him the mall to get him a sign. Then, a week later…

Chris: Hey, Raffi, what is there to do around here?

Raffi Torres: Have you seen our mall? It’s the largest in the North America!

Chris: Yeah, that was cool, where do you think I’ve been for the last week? But I need something else to do. Any nighlife?

Raffi: Night… life?

Chris: Umm, yeah, you know, dancing, women, something like that.

Raffi: We have the Festival of Trees coming pretty soon!

(silence…)

Chris: I’ve made a huge mistake.

I don’t like Chris Pronger, but I can’t really blame him for (allegedly) having an affair; what else was he going to do?

Mayor.

This is just me spouting off from my awesome California perspective (you wouldn’t believe how warm it’s been recently, it’s like having a fireplace going all the time), but Edmonton seems to have a real inferiority complex. They’re not relevant like Toronto, they don’t have history or arrogance like Montreal and Ottawa, they don’t have a film industry like Vancouver (stop taking our jobs, assholes), and they’re overshadowed in their own province by Calgary. I was in Calgary this summer and asked a Calgarian if he ever goes to Edmonton. He derisively snorted, “Why the fuck would I want to go to Edmonton?” That was amazing to me. That’s like a murderer refusing to share a prison cell with a child molester!

The Edmonton Oilers are doing their best impression of their city this season, in that they suck. Their fans like to pretend that they’re a tough, gritty team, but they really just don’t have that much talent outside of Ales Hemsky. (I really like Hemsky, though.) They overpaid in the off-season for a defenseman who can’t play defense (he’s hurt now) and a forward whose best skill is his ability to grow a playoff beard. (Seriously, it looked like seal fur.) It's almost like Penner's goals last year were the result of his linemates... nah, no way Kevin Lowe fucks up like that, right? Their one goaltender is the biggest whiner in the NHL and their other goaltender is such a tragic figure that Oedipus thinks, “Wow, that guy has a rough life.” Finally, their coach… well, their coach was the last guy in the NHL to not wear a helmet, so I refuse to say anything bad about him.

Haha.

So yeah, that’s Edmonton: the city is boring and the hockey team sucks. But hey, the economy is thriving, right? Pretty soon, you’ll be right up there with Columbus, Ohio in cities Los Angeles doesn’t care about.

Prediction: Kings win. Maybe not the game, but they live in L.A., so they still win.

Consistently Inconsistent

After starting the season alternating wins and losses in their first 7 games, the Sharks seemed to find their rhythm after back to back victories versus Nashville and Calgary. The Sharks dominated Calgary and headed for a team building trip to Banff, Alberta highlighted by a Curling tournament. They seemed to leave those good feelings as well as their game in Canada as they fell flat on their face versus the Red Wings. Once again the Wings skated circles around the bigger Sharks as they dominated them for the second time in 8 days. The only highlight was Alexei Semenov's late PP goal to deny Chris Osgood of a shutout. Not much time to lick their wounds as they must strap it on again in less than 24 hours as they have an afternoon affair in Columbus. I was thinking that Thomas Greiss might get his first start of the year today but with the Detroit blowout, Evgeni Nabokov got to rest most of the 3rd period.

News out of Worcester is that Sandis Ozolinsh was let out of his minor league contract and has flown back to San Jose to skate. He will probably skate with the team after they arrive back in town next week. More news on this to come.

Two statistics that are depressing me

In 12 games thus far, the Ducks have spent more than 200 minutes (10+ periods of hockey) down by a single goal. In that time, they have managed to score a total of three goals, 0.89 goals-per-hour. In the last six games, the Ducks have spent more than 100 minutes down by a goal and scored zero goals.

Meanwhile, the Ducks have spent 92 minutes up by a goal (4 ½+ periods of hockey). In that time, opponents have managed to score a total of seven goals, 4.55 goals-per-hour. Twelve times the Ducks have had a one-goal lead, and five times it has taken the opponent less than six minutes to even up the score.

Not coming back and not holding leads means lots of losing. The Ducks had their seventh regulation loss yesterday, a feat they didn’t accomplish until New Year’s Eve last year, in game 41.

Sigh. Go Ducks.

Dustin Brown Signs 6-Year Extension

I had something else up here about Ilya Kovalchuk that I may post some other time, but this is important. According to Inside the Kings, the extension is worth $19.05 million, or $3.175 mil a season. That's pretty good. I had been worried that both Brown and O'Sullivan were going to be restricted free agents at the end of the season, but I guess half that problem is gone.

This says to me that Dustin Brown and Anze Kopitar are going to be on our top line for a very long time. I think Dean Lombardi looks at the two of them and sees the Bertuzzi/Naslund duo. (Hopefully without the attempted murder, though.) If Brown continues his excellent play this year and continues to develop into a dominating power forward, the Kings will have their top forward line (Brown, Kopitar and someone), their top defensive line (Lubo and Jack Johnson) and their goaltenders (LaBarbera, Bernier) all set. What this says for the future of Alex Frolov and Mike Cammalleri is unsettling, but I won't worry about that right now.

One thing that's kind of funny to me: Dustin Brown will make more over the life of his new contract than Mike Cammalleri is making this year. His agent must be pissed.

I just heard about this, so I haven't had time to put on my smoking jacket, light my pipe and think it through, but right now I'm happy. He's Dustin Brown! I guess it just goes to show: you can be stupid and successful in this world.

[Earl Sleek postscript: Blogger tells me that this is BoC's 666th post. Woo hoo! Combined with the news of a 6-year extension, I'm suspecting that Dustin Brown is the antichrist.]

Kings Gameday: Looking Back to 2005

Los Angeles Kings (4-6, 4th in Pacific) vs. Dallas Stars (9 straight vs. Kings)

7:30 PST, FSN West


(The Kings last beat the Dallas Stars on April 1, 2005. Here's what the Kings looked like back in that strange time, when madness ruled and I was still a twinkle in my father's eye.)

The Kings finally broke their three-game losing streak, defeating the Dallas Stars 1-0 last night. I keep waiting for the Stars to drop off, but I guess it isn’t going to be this year; next year, definitely. Book it. We always seem to have a little trouble against the Stars, but hopefully this means we can start a little run against them. The lone goal was scored by known hump and miserable bastard Jeremy Roenick, and I guess his skates were finally sharpened enough. I can’t wait until this season’s over and I never have to see this guy again. (If anyone ever signs this guy again, they’re complete morons.) Garon played well, once again showing flashes of brilliance. I think next year, when he has the #1 job all to himself, he’ll really step things up.

Hey, Roenick is talking, what a surprise.

The win moves the Kings into a tie for 9th along with San Jose, and I still have hope that we can make the playoffs. Not having Andy Murray here hurts, but John Torchetti seems to have the team in pretty good shape. Frolov has struggled a little bit since coming back from a shoulder injury, but I know he can turn it on and put some pucks in the net. If the Kings can get that Conroy-Demitra-Frolov line clicking again (which was the best line in hockey for a little while at the beginning of the season), then we can withstand the San Jose juggernaut. I think the team most likely to miss the playoffs is the Edmonton Oilers; even if the Oilers do manage to get in, they’ll probably be dispatched easily. I mean, it’s not like a team like the Sharks could ever lose to them, right?

Even if the Kings do make the playoffs, though, I’m not sure how good they’d be. They’d probably have a better chance if Terry Schiavo was in net. (Too soon?) I think, looking at the future, the Kings need to do a couple of things. First, they need to lock up Demitra. I know he’s injury-prone, but the guy can score. Putting him with Frolov will be excellent for his development. I also think they need to look for a defenseman who can play with Lubo and Norstrom. (Not Rob Blake; he sucks and there’s no way he’s worth the $4 million it will probably take to sign him.) If we need to trade someone for a defenseman, I’d look at Mike Cammalleri. Frolov and Dustin Brown (and maybe that Slovakian kid, Kopitar or whatever) are the future of this team, along with Tim Gleason on defense. Cammy is good, but I think he’s just too small to ever make an impact in the NHL. At best, he’s probably a 60 points-a-year player.

Demitra has to be on the Kings next year.

If the Kings don’t do much in the off-season, I see them fielding a team that looks like this:

Frolov-Conroy-Demitra
Parrish-Cammalleri-Brown
Avery-Belanger-Kostopolous
Parros-Armstrong-Giuliano

Lubo-Corvo
Norstrom-Sopel
Gleason-Dempsey

Garon/LaBarbera (No, Vancouver fans, we’re not taking Cloutier off your hands)

I’d give Dave Taylor one more chance to turn this whole thing around. This is a good team that can do some damage in the playoffs if everyone stays healthy. If we can re-sign the guys we have this year and maybe get one more depth guy (I hear Brian Willsie is pretty good, he does have a career-high 19 goals this year), then I think we can make the playoffs.

Prediction: It's 2005 all over again, as the Kings win 1-0 and have a moment of silence for Pope John Paul II. Goal by Roenick.

Ducks Gameday—Puttin' square pegs into round holes

Phoenix Coyotes (2-5-0, t-14th in west) at Anaheim Ducks (4-6-1, t-9th in west)

Missing Players by Game

(includes games where a player was unavailable to finish the game)
Well, it hasn't been the best start to the season for the champion Ducks, who between travel and injury have been reduced for the most part to a rather mediocre squad. I'm still unsure how a fully-iced Ducks squad figures to perform this year, and from the sounds of things, I don't think I'll be finding out anytime soon.

Since Bertuzzi went down early in the Minnesota game, though, it's been especially thin for the Anaheim power play. Coach Carlyle in the face of a limited roster has been loading up talent on the first power play unit, but then filling the second unit with his penalty killing personnel. The table below shows five players who, despite not playing hardly any power play time last season, have put in some serious PP minutes the last six games.

The New Power Players	Rob Niedermayer	Mark Mowers	Travis Moen	Sammy Pahlsson	Todd Marchant
Games Played Last Year	82	78	82	82	56
Total PP TOI Last Year	15:40	15:04	13:52	13:16	8:01
Avg PP TOI Last Year	0:11	0:11	0:10	0:09	0:08
Games Played Last 6 gms	5	5	6	6	4
Total PP TOI Last 6 gms	18:18	17:24	3:40	4:26	3:18
Avg PP TOI Last 6 gms	3:40	3:29	0:37	0:44	0:50
Pct Increase from LY Avg	1916%	1802%	361%	457%	576%
Season High PP TOI	6:13	4:55	2:34	2:34	2:26
Pct Increase from LY Avg	3254%	2545%	1518%	1586%	1700%

Thus far the five have combined for one power play assist (Sammy, of course), but I'm not going to knock their efforts; it's really not their gig. Anaheim's checking forwards are a special bunch, for sure, but their contributions aren't really on the ANA portion of the scoreboard. The fact that these checkers are getting such decent power play time really begs the question, though: why isn't Bobby Ryan cracking the lineup right now, even for an emergency special-teams-only engagement? Those are minutes where an offensive player could make an impact and prevent Anaheim's penalty-killers from being exhausted from unproductive power play time.

The checking line just aren't suited to be power play personnel, no matter how much ice time Carlyle insists on giving them. He may as well glue nail clippings to his lip and wait until it becomes a moustache.

Anyways, Phoenix is in town tonight for the first of eight on the season, and I'm not quite sure if that's a good thing. Since the lockout, the Ducks have used the Desert Dogs as a steady source of standings points; in sixteen games the Ducks are a whopping 13-2-1. A huge factor here is that in those 16 games, the Ducks' power play has produced 23 goals while the Coyotes' power play has produced only 8. The two points seem attainable enough, but with Anaheim's decidedly mediocre power play and overall sketchy lineup, it's not nearly as in the bag as it could be. (For the 'Yote angle, check out PB's take at One Fan's Perspective.)

Still, I've managed to come up with a saying that's annoyingly helpful in putting it all in perspective. As discouraging as the first eleven games of the 07-08 season have been, it's still the best twelve game stretch in team history (counting the last game last year, of course). Complacency will be the death of me, I guess.

Prediction: Phoenix donates two points to Anaheim's playoff drive yet again; Ducks 5, Coyotes 2. Goals by King, Wirtanen, Perry, Hnidy, and an ill-advised PPG by Pahlsson.

Go Ducks.

Guest Post: Sharks Time Capsule #1

By Megalodon


In 2001, the San Jose Sharks' AHL affiliate, the Kentucky Thoroughblades (worst name EVER!) were moved to Cleveland, Ohio. Once there, the team name was changed to the Cleveland Barons, to reflect the now-defunct AHL team that had existed in the city from 1937-1973.

The old Cleveland Barons logo looked like this:


Hey look! It was already Sharks colors, pretty much. Convenient, right? But obviously the logo was a little out-dated, and needed a redesign. The question was, what new image could incorporate elements of the Sharks brand while still retaining the class and charm of the traditional logo? Would they use San Jose's color scheme more extensively, or perhaps go subtler, changing the font or adding a hint of a Shark fin somewhere to the Baron's outfit?


BOOM:


Take that, subtlety! Is that a Shark AND a Baron? Damn straight it is. Problem solved - we've got our new logo! Not only will this guy eat you alive, but he won't even lose his monocle while he does it. Then he'll tip his hat to your shredded corpse before swimming off to attend regattas and grand cotillions. (Ed. note: First use of "cotillion" in a post about hockey ever? I sure hope so.)

According to Wikipedia, the Shark in the Barons logo was originally designed as a possible alternate logo for San Jose (yeah, right) and then they just stuck some baron clothes on it with photoshop or something. Sweet. Good work, guys.

I wish all NHL teams would do stuff like this with their affiliates; these bastard hybrid logos would be some of the greatest ever. The Portland Duck-Pirates? The Norfolk Lightning-Admirals*? The Bridgeport Islander-Sound Tigers? (Wait, did I do that right? What the hell is a sound tiger?)

Sadly, the Barons moved to Worcester in 2006, and became simply the Worcester Sharks, who apparently are still using the Sharks' old logo and jersey design. So I guess the Baron-Shark hybrid is gone forever...but I can still have high hopes for the Chicago Thrasher-Wolves!




* - Wait, the AHL has two teams named the Admirals - Norfolk AND Milwaukee? Lame.

"Who are we? The Wildcats! Who are we going to beat? The Wildcats!"

Hope

Last December, the Kings went to Nashville and got destroyed, 7-0. Cloutier was in net for the game and allowed 6 goals before spearing Scott Hartnell; it would be his last game of the year (and possibly ever) for the Kings. I was at my parent’s place for Christmas and watched the entire game. My Christmas was miserable. My brother had taped the game but I warned him not to watch because it would only upset him. He watched it anyway.

Last night’s game was amazing. The Kings chased Chris Mason, the goaltender who recorded the shutout last December, out of the game in the 2nd period. You’d like to think that the Kings will play like that every night, but around the time Derek Armstrong skated down the ice with a Nashville defender draped over him and then made a beautiful backhand pass to Raitis Fucking Ivanans, who buried it, I realized that it was just one of those games that you can’t really explain. I mean, last night I actually said, “You know who are playing really well tonight? Modry and Willsie.” The Kings just came out firing and the Predators were extremely flat. But there were so many times last year where we were on the bad side of these lopsided games that it felt nice to be on the good side for a change.

Going through a season like last year, where you go into it knowing that you are not going to be competitive, was rough. It wasn’t so much the games themselves as it was that you couldn’t see how things could get better. Do I think the Kings are going to win the Stanley Cup this year? No, probably not. Do I think they can win their next game? Yeah, I do. And that’s enough.

Ducks Gameday—I used to not care about Sidney Crosby

Now I hate the guy.

Tuesday night's Ducks game at St. Louis will begin at 5:30 p.m. (PST). However, because of the exclusive rights window owned by Versus on Tuesday evening, the game will be joined in progress on KDOC at 6 p.m.

No other regional broadcasts can be in progress opposite the Versus telecast of Pittsburgh vs. New York Rangers.

Listen, normally I don't give a fuck how much Crosby or Ovechkin the league wants to sell me. I don't care how much Versus tells me how much I gotta love Brodeur, Miller, and Lundqvist.

But I'm not going to bite. I'm a western conference fan, dammit—tell me exactly why it matters to me what goes on in the east? There's 15 teams out east-side that are being measured on their own separate standings-board that we rarely interact with; they are for the most part inconsequential to me (until, say, the Cup Finals or something).

Of course I'll watch eastern games when there's no games in the west, but mostly with disinterest; I'm rarely pulling for any particular outcome. Blame the schedule, or blame me the stupid shortsighted fan, but don't forcefeed me, dammit. If I want to watch Crosby and Jagr, I'll find the damn channel. Preventing me from watching the game I want to watch is flat-out stupid.

Sure there's probably contract language that's gotta be worked out, but for sure somebody dropped the ball here. Hell, the Ducks even threw their first watch party of the year for a game they couldn't air the first twelve minutes of. And for that, I say, "Sorry, Sid, but get the fuck out of my face."

p.s. Doubly irritating is the fact that I spent the entire 30-minute "Sid-out" watching the Leafs play the Thrashers. For sure they would not pull this shit off in Canada, but yeah, go ahead and piss off the Cali fans.

Kings Gameday: This Blog Post is EXTREME

Los Angeles Kings (3-6, 4th in Pacific) vs. Nashville Predators (2-5, 5th in Central)

10:30 PST, FSN West


The Kings have a new website called LAKingsJunkie.com. It’s full of ATTITUDE and IN YOUR FACE ACTION and RANDOM CAPITALIZATION for some reason, but it does have my favorite part of any team website: player bios. I love these things because they’re always so random and ridiculous. (How else would I know that Dog Murray from Sweden owns his own company or that Ryan Getzlaf likes wake-boarding?) I’m going to start a continuing series wherein I read the bios and then decide if I like the player more or less. First up are Mike Cammalleri and Alexander Frolov.

X-TREME!!!

Mike Cammalleri

What I like: His favorite movie is Raging Bull, his favorite athlete is Scott Thornton, and his favorite action hero is Batman. (Why would he like Scott Thornton so much? Unless... maybe Thornton IS Batman!)

What I don’t like: His favorite book is Bringing Down the House. It could be the book about how 6 MIT graduates cheated Las Vegas, but I prefer to think that Mike Cammalleri really enjoys the novelization of the movie starring Queen Latifah and Steve Martin.

Overall: I like Mike Cammalleri more. He has a more intellectual side that you wouldn’t expect and he likes Scott Thornton. Everyone should like Scott Thornton. He rides bicycles!

RADICAL!!!

Alexander Frolov

What I like: He has a dog named Quattro (after the razor?), he enjoys chess, and his favorite holiday is New Year’s. (I just like this one because I like the idea of someone asking Frolov this question and then him honestly thinking about it before giving an answer.)

What I don’t like: His favorite actor is Anthony Hopkins (he’s really good and everything, but whose favorite actor is Anthony Hopkins?), his favorite athlete is Andre Agassi (Sampras rules!), and his favorite TV show is Entourage. Plus, the picture next to his information is not him, it's Blake. I'm blaming Frolov for this.

Overall: I like Alexander Frolov less. He kind of comes across as a douche bag, don’t you think? I mean, he likes Steven Seagal, he enjoys Gwen Stefani, he watches Entourage… he’s not a hockey player, he’s the guy with the popped collar on every college campus in America!

***

The Kings play the Nashville Predators today, and I can’t think of a team that’s more universally reviled than the Predators. Seriously, the Sharks hate them, the Stars hate them, the Red Wings hate them, I hate them, Hamilton hates them, their jersey designer hates them, even their potential owners seem to hate them. Now the Phoenix Coyotes can get in on the hate after Jordin Tootoo took 9,482 steps before blindsiding rookie Daniel Winnik. Craig Weller responded by unleashing a flying clothesline at Tootoo, who then proceeded to lie on the ice until everything settled down. (I am convinced that he lied there because he didn’t want to fight. I can not be dissuaded from this opinion.) Here’s the video, just in case you haven’t seen it:

There are a lot of opinions on the incident (Kelly Hrudey went nuts on TV and tried to make Tootoo walk the plank), but my favorite part of the whole thing was Tootoo’s comment after the game:

"There's always someone coming after me and there is a prime example of me not defending myself and not knowing someone was coming after me," Tootoo said. "It's unbelievable how hitting is part of the game and after a nice clean hit like that there has to be injury involved when you don't defend yourself."

Is it hard to elbow someone with tears in your eyes?

You can almost hear the sniffling, can’t you? Hmm… someone attacking someone when they were not in a position to defend themselves, where have I seen that before? Listen fuck, nobody likes you. You have no discernable skill besides a willingness to hurt people and the only reason guys like you are still in the league is because of the instigator rule. Plus, you had this and then cheated on it. If there’s one undeniable truth in this crazy little world, it’s that blonde chicks with big fake boobs are awesome. You’re lucky that all the men in the world haven’t held you down and then taken turns kicking you in your little Tootoo Train.

How dare you cheat on those boobs.

***

This is only tangentially related to the business of this blog, but since it deals with Los Angeles, I think it is okay: have you seen the ads by the city of Louisville? After realizing that they have no good qualities to attract people to their miserable little town, Louisville has decided to attack the good names of much better cities. Here’s the one attacking Los Angeles:

Louisville, are you trying to say that you are better than Los Angeles? Louisville. The one in Kentucky. With the baseball bats. Ha. Hehe. Teehee…. (Deep Breath)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Prediction: Kings, 4-2. Goals by Cammy, Nagy, Blake and Frolov.

BoC finds room for improvement: 5-on-5 hockey

It's still very early in the season, but one thing that seems to be common among all the slow-starting BoC teams is that for all three teams, 5-on-5 results have plenty of room for improvement. If we look purely at 5-on-5 results (no 4-on-4 or pulled goalie situations), here's how the teams are producing thus far:

• The San Jose Sharks in 8 games have scored 10 goals-for and allowed 12 goals-against. That is, they are allowing 1.2 goals for every one they are scoring.
• The Anaheim Ducks in 10 games have scored 8 goals-for and allowed 13 goals-against. They are allowing 1.6 goals for every one they are scoring.
• The Los Angeles Kings in 9 games have scored 11 goals-for and allowed 23 goals-against. They are allowing 2.1 goals for every one they are scoring.
• All three teams together in 27 games have scored 29 goals-for and allowed 48 goals-against. They are allowing 1.7 goals for every one that they are scoring.

Of course there's plenty of reasons and excuses available ("It's early" is still a valid explanation), but it is worth noting that 5-on-5 hockey is a big reason why none of the three clubs has seemed to meet early expectations. If you neglect the 5-on-5 issues above, the teams in non-5-on-5 situations all have positive goal differentials (SJ is a +3 while ANA and LA are +2).

Outscoring opponents at even-strength isn't a real necessity to make the playoffs; certainly a lot can be made up with special teams. But come postseason, generally the level of opposition goes up and often special teams production decreases. The Ducks last spring, for example, primarily killed in the playoffs not because of their power play, but rather because they dominated 5-on-5 hockey. For all three teams, this looks so far to be one key area to work on; an effective 5-on-5 game makes success look easy.

Just for fun, here's the top 15 and the bottom 15 BoC performers at even-strength-goal-differential-per-60-minutes. Unlike the above discussion, these tables include more than just 5-on-5 production, but rather anything labeled as "even-strength". That means that in terms of ice time and results, these include 4-on-4 and empty-net situations (basically, any time icing can be called on both teams). Note that quality of opposition is not considered here; that may help explain why some players fall on either list.

The top 15:

Player	Team	Pos	GP	ES Min.	G–A–Pts	Plus–Minus–Diff	Diff/hr.
Petteri Wirtanen	ANA	C	1	2.87	1 – 0 – 1	+1 – -0 – +1	+20.93
Douglas Murray	SJS	D	6	57.00	0 – 2 – 2	+4 – -1 – +3	+3.16
Scott Thornton	LAK	W	6	46.00	1 – 0 – 1	+2 – -0 – +2	+2.61
Brad May	ANA	W	8	49.50	0 – 0 – 0	+2 – -0 – +2	+2.42
George Parros	ANA	W	9	33.88	0 – 1 – 1	+1 – -0 – +1	+1.77
Joe Thornton	SJS	C	8	106.30	2 – 4 – 6	+7 – -4 – +3	+1.69
Kent Huskins	ANA	D	10	152.50	1 – 3 – 4	+7 – -3 – +4	+1.57
Jaroslav Modry	LAK	D	9	126.82	0 – 0 – 0	+7 – -4 – +3	+1.42
Joe Dipenta	ANA	D	9	86.10	0 – 3 – 3	+3 – -1 – +2	+1.39
Corey Perry	ANA	W	10	132.88	3 – 1 – 4	+7 – -4 – +3	+1.35
Ryane Clowe	SJS	W	8	89.22	1 – 2 – 3	+4 – -2 – +2	+1.35
Milan Michalek	SJS	W	8	92.05	2 – 1 – 3	+4 – -2 – +2	+1.30
Ladislav Nagy	LAK	W	7	60.72	0 – 2 – 2	+2 – -1 – +1	+0.99
Ryan Getzlaf	ANA	C	10	133.53	2 – 5 – 7	+8 – -6 – +2	+0.90
Jonathan Cheechoo	SJS	W	8	94.13	2 – 1 – 3	+5 – -4 – +1	+0.64

The bottom 15:

Player	Team	Pos	GP	ES Min.	G–A–Pts	Plus–Minus–Diff	Diff/hr.
Raitis Ivanans	LAK	W	8	52.33	0 – 1 – 1	+1 – -3 – -2	-2.29
Rob Davison	SJS	D	3	22.03	0 – 0 – 0	+0 – -1 – -1	-2.72
Brady Murray	LAK	W	4	39.48	1 – 0 – 1	+1 – -3 – -2	-3.04
Andrew Miller	ANA	W	4	39.42	1 – 0 – 1	+1 – -3 – -2	-3.04
Rob Blake	LAK	D	9	116.02	0 – 0 – 0	+4 – -10 – -6	-3.10
Patrick Rissmiller	SJS	W	7	57.85	0 – 0 – 0	+0 – -3 – -3	-3.11
Lubomir Visnovsky	LAK	D	9	152.50	0 – 1 – 1	+6 – -13 – -7	-3.11
Patrick O’Sullivan	LAK	W	9	91.33	1 – 1 – 2	+4 – -9 – -5	-3.28
Michal Handzus	LAK	C	9	97.90	0 – 1 – 1	+4 – -10 – -6	-3.68
Brad Stuart	LAK	D	9	122.45	0 – 0 – 0	+1 – -9 – -8	-3.92
Marcel Goc	SJS	C	7	56.67	0 – 0 – 0	+0 – -4 – -4	-4.24
John Zeiler	LAK	W	7	56.17	0 – 0 – 0	+0 – -4 – -4	-4.27
Curtis Brown	SJS	C	3	20.57	0 – 0 – 0	+0 – -2 – -2	-5.83
Maxim Kondratiev	ANA	D	2	9.42	0 – 0 – 0	+0 – -1 – -1	-6.37
Jason King	ANA	W	2	21.38	0 – 0 – 0	+0 – -3 – -3	-8.42